Kimchi Bowl? Seriously???

if i say anything here, it'll just be racist.

Americans have their Super Bowl.
Nihonjin AMERIKA futtoboru senshus have their RAISU BOORU
Koreans have Kimchi Bowl.

I discovered only just yesterday that the two Asian nations held annual regional and national tournaments, and that Busan University has been kicking ass the past two years.

どんぶり: Donburi says "konnichiwa bitches!"

I don't think rice necessarily represents Japan, although what they intended was "donburi" which is ricebowl topped with stuff... (Rice alone would represent more than half the world, and maybe with a slab of maguro on it it'd be more Japanese - maybe they should go with more indigenous names like  Nato Bowl, or Udon Bowl,but i digress.)

Sooooo.... Kimchi Bowl?? I developed an immediate dislike to that name. I don't really give a flying falala what the game is about, although I do feel Rugby is by far the manliest sport I've played.. i just don't like the particular name they chose for the Korean leauge.

Sure, Kimchi is by far the best known Korean food, but i would like to criticize this particular decision to paste KIMCHI on BOWL. Also just vent off some reasons for why Koreans should be ashamed of Kimchi.. or at least quit refrain from referring to it as a panacea, the awesome food that scared away the swine flu, avian flu, and killed all the dinosaurs.

1) Although noted for its ubiquity on Korean tables, Kimchi is far from "staple food" status, particulary by nutritional standards. Hell, I would like go out and even say it's in the sunset-orange spectrum of unhealthy. First, I don't consider Kimchi a real "vegetable" anymore because it's been seasoned and pickled to hell. Nobody considers dill-pickles a particularly healthy choice in diet, so why kimchi, right? Second, the sodium content in kimchi is so ridiculous, it's like sodom and gomorrah in your mouth every time you eat a serving.  1 serving is about what the picture above shows. That and instant Ramen like 안성탕면 or 너구리 with a small side of Kimchi, and you've already exceeded your recommended daily sodium consumption by about 2 x. Just eating 3 servings of kimchi a day puts you over by 1.5 times, Add Korean soups / chiggae.. and you should be really really scared. like salt-crystals in your armpit scared.

 See? nobody smiled back in the (Chosun) dayzzz

2) Kimchi, the red spicy pickled side-dish, is not traditional Korean food. Real Korean Kimchi is white, 백김치, and red-pepper powder(고춧가루) did not exist, as far as our foremothers (men didn't cook . Confucianism. blah)  were concerened. Not until the mid-late Chosun period. This really explains why nobody in the photographs from that era are smiling, because 'Kimchiiii" wasn't so popular back then. feel this also explains a lot of surprisingly high IBS in Koreans, as spicy dishes in general are a relatively new introduction to the Korean diet. First written documentation of red kimchi is dated back to  1725, a full century following its first introduction to Korean food. (http://hanul30781.cafe24.com/357)

(image source: http://www.closetcooking.com/2010/03/kimchi-chicken-salad-sandwich.html)

Some people call kimchi the cabbage crack..

3) I admit, kimchi tastes great with a variety of foods, some more odd than others. Not listing the nasty combinations, the ones I enjoyed include: pancakes, steak, curry, sushi, soju, apples, spaghetti, all sorts of lettuce/ham sandwiches, just cheddar cheese, any type of sandwich with peanutbutter, natto.. it's pretty good. it also makes everything taste like Kimchi. Everything, including your breath, and taken in high enough frequency, even your sweat. The generous glops of crushed garlic that is a staple of the Kimchi flavor (fermented prawn sauce comes a close second) do not stay in your stomach if you're the active type, or generally have digestion issues..
*On a tangent, people who say escargo tastes awesome, or dogmeat tastes awesome.. confuse "good tasting food" with "shiploads of seasoning.


My next whiny article will be about the ondol, and why i think it's such a bad trip every time I fall asleep on one..

한국 처음 왔을 때...

오늘 논현-강남, 종로3가 근방을 걸으며, 한국에 처음 왔던 2001년-2002년을 생각해보았다. 목적없이 여기저기 거닐어보았던 도시라고는 파푸아의 Lae, Goroka, Kavieng 정도가 전부였는데, 고층빌딩들과 낯선 얼굴들, 돈만있으면 무엇이든 내 손안에 넣을 수만 있을것 같았던 도심속 겨울의 정신없는 시선과 걸음폭.
그 시절에는 왜 마음속에 그런 욕구? 분노가 있었는지, 기준이 무엇인지도 명백히 모르면서 지나가는 사람들을 분류하며 정리하려고 했었는지... 저놈은 wannabe, 저기 저 촌놈, 저기 저 삶에 찌든 회사원. 저기 저... and so on and so on. 이제는 그냥 낯선 사람들처럼 보일 뿐인데. 그 사이 무엇이 변한걸까.

전편집장님과 저녁식사를 같이 하는 영광을 누렸다. 전부터 뭔가 표현해주고 싶었는데 잘 안되는거, 그나마 맛난(적어도 나에게는) 회전초밥을 나눌 수 있어서 좋았는데... 회전컨베이어 주변에 사람들이 우리 둘 외에는 모두 한직업(?) 해보이는 사람들이라 기분이 묘했다. 그래도 뭐... 난 발렌타인즈데이 맛난거 사주고픈 사람 대접해주고 즐거운 시간 보냈다! 지난 수년 지나갔던 2.14들 중 가장 좋았다. 만족 만족.

한동의 동역자들께 드리는 글 (윤상헌교수님 글 한-영 번역본)

A Letter to my brothers and sisters of Handong,
(from Prof. Yoon Sang Hun)

January 25, 2011

My name is Yoon Sang Hun, and I am a professor of linguistics in the ISLL(International Studies, Language and Literature) Department of God’s University, Handong Global University, where  the His workers are trained, His way. For the past 13 years, starting in 1998 when I first came to Handong, it has been a great joy and privilege of mine to teach, fellowship with, and at times learn from the students here at Handong, in the lecture halls, at my office, be it day or night.

At the present however, I find myself alone and distressed. The past eight-or-so months of contempt I have been subjected to by the authorities of our University has bereft me of joy and purpose. During the Spring Semester of 2010, several students enrolled in <Advanced English Grammar> and <Language and Philosophy> lectures which I had been teaching, told their parents that I had made inappropriate digressions, unrelated to the lecture. Parents contacted the University and protested. It was then that the University began to demand that I make an apology. I verbally expressed regret that students did not find my lectures satisfactory, and expressed intention to improve. However, the University continued to pressure me for an apology, discussing the possibility of tenure dismissal in the process.

Furthermore, I was summoned by the Faculty Personnel Committee (Chaired by Dr. Jei Yang Gyu, Dean of Academic Affairs) over multiple occasions during the 2010 Summer school break and Fall Semester. During that period, twice I submitted my written opinion to explain and clarify. Then at the Board of Directors’ Meeting in Seoul, on December 29 of 2010, without a motion resolved by the Faculty Personnel Committee, Dean of Academic Affairs Jei Yang Gyu made a one-sided report to the Board, leading to the establishment of a Disciplinary Committee, and the currently ongoing process for disciplinary measures.

January 10, the University passed on a Notification on Grounds for Disciplinary Action. The notification stated that I had been irresponsible with my lectures, and that I criticized the University and the President. It also stated that I imposed my political opinions on students concerning issues such as the “Four Major Rivers Project,” ROKS Cheonan Incident, BSE (Mad Caw Disease), and the Kwangju Democratization Movement. My response to the accusations remain the same: I have not acted irresponsibly in my lectures. Social and political items discussed in class were well within the contextual parameters of my lecture, and my bringing up of issues in Handong was so that we may pray together. I have never burdened my political opinions on my students.

With respect to my conscience as a scholar, my walk with Him, and as a person who dearly loves Handong, I find it truly difficult to accept(understand) the decisions made by the University. Speaking as a professor at Handong, lectures are a sacrament, because those hours are opportunities to develop a wholehearted reverence for Him and service to others. It is a time to acquire the means and skills to serve others, not by mere words, but by practical service stemming from the heart. Furthermore lectures are time of shared link and trust with the students. Thus, unapproved recordings of discussions in my lecture, accusations that followed, and now disciplinary action put into process, all based on what a professor spoke of with students in his own lecture, I cannot express just how devastated I am of this current situation.

Perverting the truth by gathering only the testimonies of select few students to skew them as representative of the opinions of all enrolled students’, then unilateral demands for an apology, outright threats to take disciplinary action when I did not apologize, the University’s decisions in this matter had me personally feeling that I am being held in contempt, and moreover fearful and worrisome that that my past 13 years of joyous teaching, and love and trust for the students would be lost to me.  In spite of all of this, the Lord has looked over the past Fall Semester and the Winter Semester, and kept our fellowship alive.

I waited long and endured this affair, waiting for a just end to be reached, but as I have witnessed unjust directions taken, decided that I needed inform my brothers and sisters of Handong of this situation. Writing this was a decision reached over many conflicting thoughts and hours of anguish, but through prayer, I was assured that this situation needed to be brought to light, because this is of crucial personal importance, and furthermore because involved are issues that Handong needs to face and deal with, to be right as God’s University. I desire to see the withdrawal of these unreasonable and embarrassing measures as I do not wish to see dear Handong become a laughing stock, a subject of indignity. I request your support in prayer, for me, and for Handong.

25 January, 2011

Sincerely, Yoon Sang Hun, Professor.

School of International Studies, Languages and Literature 

Original Article:

한동의 동역자들께 드리는 글 (윤상헌교수)

2011. 1. 25

저는 하나님의 방법으로 하나님의 인재를 양성하는 하나님의 대학 한동대학교 국제어문학부에서 언어학을 가르치고 있는 윤상헌 교수입니다. 한동에 부임한 지난 1998년 이후 13년간 밤낮으로 연구실과 강의실 안팎에서 한동의 젊은이들을 가르치고, 교제하고, 때로는 학생들로부터 배우는 것은 제 인생의 크나큰 즐거움이었습니다.

그러나 안타깝게도 저는 지금 외롭고 괴롭습니다. 지난 약 8개월 동안 학교당국으로부터 받은 모멸감은 저의 이러한 기쁨과 보람을 빼앗아 갔습니다. 지난 2010년 1학기에 제가 가르친 바 있는 <고급영문법>과 <언어와 철학>을 수강한 일부 학생들이 제가 수업과 관련 없는 불편한 발언을 했다고 자신들의 부모들에게 말했고, 그 이야기를 들은 학부모들은 학교당국에 저에 대한 항의를 전했습니다. 그 때부터 학교당국은 제게 사과를 요구했습니다. 저는 제 강의에 만족하지 못한 학생이 있었다는 것에 대해 유감을 말하고 개선하겠다는 의사를 표했습니다. 그러나 학교 당국은 사과를 강요했고, 저에게 교수 면직을 거론하기까지 했습니다.

또한 2010년 여름방학과 가을학기 동안 수차례에 걸쳐 교원인사위원회(위원장 제양규 교무처장)에 소환된 바 있고, 그에 대해 두 번에 걸쳐 저의 의견서를 제출하며 소명하기도 했습니다. 하지만 교원인사위원회에서 저에 대한 징계를 이사회에 요청하기로 결의한 바 없음에도 불구하고, 지난 12월 29일 서울에서 열린 이사회는 저에 대한 제양규 교무처장의 일방적인 보고에 근거하여 징계위원회를 구성하기로 의결하고 징계에 관한 절차를 추진하고 있습니다.

학교당국이 1월 10일 저에게 전달한 “징계사유설명서”는 제가 강의에 불성실했으며, 강의 중 정부와 학교 그리고 총장을 비난했고, 4대강 사업, 천안함 사건, 광우병 문제, 광주 민주화 운동 등과 같은 정치적 소재들을 언급하여 학생들에게 교수의 정치적 견해를 강요했다고 말하고 있습니다. 저는 강의에 불성실하지 않았으며 정치적 소재와 사회적 의제에 대한 언급은 강의의 맥락에서 나누었고 학내 문제는 함께 기도하자는 취지로 말한 것이며 정치적 견해를 강요한 적이 없습니다.

저는 학자의 양심과 신앙, 그리고 한동을 사랑하는 마음에 비추어 학교당국의 이러한 처사가 정말 납득하기 어렵습니다. 한동의 교수로서 저에게 강의는 ‘성례(sacrament)’와 같습니다. 교과내용을 중심으로 하나님을 공경하고 사람을 섬기는 마음가짐과 태도, 구두선이 아닌 실질적인 섬김을 위한 구체적인 방법과 기술을 배우는 소중한 시간이기 때문일 뿐만 아니라 선생으로서 학생들과 친밀감과 신뢰를 나누는 자리이기 때문입니다. 따라서 저는 대학 교수로서 강의실에서 대학생들과 나눈 내용이 허락 없이 녹취되어 고발되고, 강단에서 학생들과 나눈 말들로 인해 교수에 대한 징계가 추진되고 있는 현재의 상황에 참담함을 금할 수가 없습니다.

제게 불리한 일부 학생들의 증언만을 모아서 그것이 마치 제 수업을 들었던 모든 학생들의 불만인양 왜곡하고, 일방적으로 제게 사과를 요구하고, 사과하지 않는다고 노골적으로 저를 징계하겠다고 위협한 학교당국의 처사가 말할 수 없이 모멸스럽고 더욱이 지난 13년간 한결같이 간직해왔던 강의의 기쁨과 학생들에게 대한 애정과 신뢰가 이번 일로 인해 빼앗기지 않을까 염려와 두려움이 매우 컸습니다. 그럼에도 불구하고 하나님께서는 지난 가을학기와 이번 겨울 계절학기 내내 강의를 살펴주시고 사랑하는 학생들과의 관계를 지켜주셨습니다.

오랫동안 모든 일이 공의롭게 처리되어 끝나기를 바라며 참아왔지만, 사태가 올바르지 않은 방향으로 확대되는 것을 보면서 이제는 사랑하는 한동의 모든 동역자들에게 저의 상황을 알려야 되겠다고 생각하게 되었습니다. 이런 결심을 하기까지 많은 갈등과 번민을 했지만, 기도 가운데 이 문제가 제 개인에게도 너무 큰 사건일 뿐만 아니라, 더 나아가 하나님의 대학 한동이 바로 서기 위해 반드시 올바로 처리되어야 할 일이라고 확신하여 여러분께 글을 드립니다. 저는 이 부끄럽고 무리한 조치가 철회되기를 바랍니다. 제가 사랑하는 한동이 세상에서 치욕과 조소의 대상이 되는 것을 원치 않기 때문입니다. 저를 위해서, 그리고 한동을 위해서 기도해 주시기를 부탁드립니다.

주후 2011년 1월 25일

국제어문학부 윤상헌 교수 드림