Kimchi Bowl? Seriously???

if i say anything here, it'll just be racist.

Americans have their Super Bowl.
Nihonjin AMERIKA futtoboru senshus have their RAISU BOORU
Koreans have Kimchi Bowl.

I discovered only just yesterday that the two Asian nations held annual regional and national tournaments, and that Busan University has been kicking ass the past two years.

どんぶり: Donburi says "konnichiwa bitches!"

I don't think rice necessarily represents Japan, although what they intended was "donburi" which is ricebowl topped with stuff... (Rice alone would represent more than half the world, and maybe with a slab of maguro on it it'd be more Japanese - maybe they should go with more indigenous names like  Nato Bowl, or Udon Bowl,but i digress.)

Sooooo.... Kimchi Bowl?? I developed an immediate dislike to that name. I don't really give a flying falala what the game is about, although I do feel Rugby is by far the manliest sport I've played.. i just don't like the particular name they chose for the Korean leauge.

Sure, Kimchi is by far the best known Korean food, but i would like to criticize this particular decision to paste KIMCHI on BOWL. Also just vent off some reasons for why Koreans should be ashamed of Kimchi.. or at least quit refrain from referring to it as a panacea, the awesome food that scared away the swine flu, avian flu, and killed all the dinosaurs.

1) Although noted for its ubiquity on Korean tables, Kimchi is far from "staple food" status, particulary by nutritional standards. Hell, I would like go out and even say it's in the sunset-orange spectrum of unhealthy. First, I don't consider Kimchi a real "vegetable" anymore because it's been seasoned and pickled to hell. Nobody considers dill-pickles a particularly healthy choice in diet, so why kimchi, right? Second, the sodium content in kimchi is so ridiculous, it's like sodom and gomorrah in your mouth every time you eat a serving.  1 serving is about what the picture above shows. That and instant Ramen like 안성탕면 or 너구리 with a small side of Kimchi, and you've already exceeded your recommended daily sodium consumption by about 2 x. Just eating 3 servings of kimchi a day puts you over by 1.5 times, Add Korean soups / chiggae.. and you should be really really scared. like salt-crystals in your armpit scared.

 See? nobody smiled back in the (Chosun) dayzzz

2) Kimchi, the red spicy pickled side-dish, is not traditional Korean food. Real Korean Kimchi is white, 백김치, and red-pepper powder(고춧가루) did not exist, as far as our foremothers (men didn't cook . Confucianism. blah)  were concerened. Not until the mid-late Chosun period. This really explains why nobody in the photographs from that era are smiling, because 'Kimchiiii" wasn't so popular back then. feel this also explains a lot of surprisingly high IBS in Koreans, as spicy dishes in general are a relatively new introduction to the Korean diet. First written documentation of red kimchi is dated back to  1725, a full century following its first introduction to Korean food. (http://hanul30781.cafe24.com/357)

(image source: http://www.closetcooking.com/2010/03/kimchi-chicken-salad-sandwich.html)

Some people call kimchi the cabbage crack..

3) I admit, kimchi tastes great with a variety of foods, some more odd than others. Not listing the nasty combinations, the ones I enjoyed include: pancakes, steak, curry, sushi, soju, apples, spaghetti, all sorts of lettuce/ham sandwiches, just cheddar cheese, any type of sandwich with peanutbutter, natto.. it's pretty good. it also makes everything taste like Kimchi. Everything, including your breath, and taken in high enough frequency, even your sweat. The generous glops of crushed garlic that is a staple of the Kimchi flavor (fermented prawn sauce comes a close second) do not stay in your stomach if you're the active type, or generally have digestion issues..
*On a tangent, people who say escargo tastes awesome, or dogmeat tastes awesome.. confuse "good tasting food" with "shiploads of seasoning.


My next whiny article will be about the ondol, and why i think it's such a bad trip every time I fall asleep on one..